Do Not Collect 200 Gajillion Dollars

And I quote: "Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation is in talks with Microsoft about joining in its contested bid for Yahoo, according to people involved in the discussions."

Okay, first of all, "people involved in the discussions." "People" involved in the "discussions." What does that even mean? My husband and I are presently people involved in discussions. According to us, Dick Cheney's skin is made of calcified American cheese that hardened during his journey from the Death Star to planet Earth. Think the much-vaunted New York Times will pick that one up?

Furthermore, I find myself suddenly in the grip of a most terrible fright. If Bill Gates and Rupert Murdoch breed, what will their children look like? Will there be horns? Glasses? Horn-rimmed glasses... that eat babies? Run, little Yahoo, run! Get thee to a nunnery!

Or at least a nice partnership with Papa Google. Although here again I am baboozleplexified by the odd lack of journalistic... journalism. Yahoo's own website is carrying a story that claims the company views Google as a potential alternative to the Microsoft buyout, but that very story contains the following quote: "A Google spokesman declined to comment, saying he was not aware of the story." So Yahoo is, what, floating the story in the hopes that the gods of Google will shrug and assume that they must not have noticed the Yahoo merger amidst all of their other corporate congealments?

All I know is that if I have to start typing my search queries into the image of Bill O'Reilly's gaping maw, I am going to officially become a Luddite.