Unto Us a Day Off Is Born

This blog is officially on vacation until the 26th, so for now I leave you with...

Your Moment of Zen:

The Spirit of Insert-Holiday-of-Choice-Here

Today I was at Barnes and Noble doing a bit of last-minute holiday shopping and barely made it into the store. Not because I was almost run over by a herd of ill-managed children, which I was — and why don't they have leash laws, by the way? — but due to the presence of the most adorable three-legged dog I'd seen all day . You'd think the time-frame would be a bit longer than that, but there's actually a three-legged dog I pass on his morning walk while on my way to work every day, so go figure.

I of course instantly accosted her owners, inquiring if I could introduce myself, and they (possibly fearing that I'd beat them silly with my embroidered handbag if they declined) acquiesced. After learning her life story (freeway bad, Spaniel Rescue Society good), the little tricycle and I bonded over the fact that she and I had something in common — the belief that she was utterly fabulous. Despite her missing limb, she was the embodiment of all things doggy: enthusiastic, affectionate and fuzzy. With all of the excitement, I nearly forgot that I'd gone there in the first place to be a good little capitalist, not to love all over a differently-abled spaniel. As it turns out, she was actually in front of the store as a walking, barking advertisement for the fact that the rescue society folks were manning the gift-wrap table inside... kind of like one of those little kids selling chicle down in TJ for their parents, only with more frequent access to clean water. That's actually not funny.

Anyway.

The moral of this rambling anecdote is that if a three-legged dog can have an awesome holiday sitting in front of a store having her ears pulled on by passing ill-managed children, then we humans can probably do the same.

Merry Christmukkuhkwanzyule! And watch out for freeways.

Turkey Lurkey

In past years I've spent time on Thanksgiving thinking about the general bogusness of the holiday, the tyranny of the Spaniard, the utter lack of green bean and almond casseroles back in the day, etc. This period of obligatory oppressor's guilt is generally followed by stuffing my face with Tofurkey and pie.

Today I find this ritual to be unnecessary for one very simple reason: Clearly, we have skipped Thanksgiving altogether this year and moved straight on to Christmas. Yesterday I was at Starbucks and the usual fall decorations were replaced by shiny red things galore. Also, they played that DAMN rum-pa-pum-pum song, which, okay, is probably what I get for being at Starbucks. Fashion Valley was the same - Santas, snowmen, nary a pumpkin in sight.

Next year I anticipate saving some money by dressing up as a reindeer for Halloween.

So, Happy Christmahannukwanzugiving!

And now your moment of Zen:

"He's a holy roller, dude. I think his Bible takes place in Las Vegas and Elvis has something to do with it." - Cole the Terrible