I Guess Squats Are Out

Today at the gym I saw an outfit almost identical to this (but the oh-so-tasteful thongotard was red):



As though time on the treadmill isn't unpleasant enough, I have to be subjected to this? It's not 1984. Your underpants need to be inside your clothes. Even if they are shiny and red.

Especially if they are shiny and red.

My Name is Inigo Montoya

The only thing better than reminiscing about '90s music is settling in on a rainy day to watch movies from the '80s. Only during the decade that brought us neon clothing would it make sense to name a protagonist Marty McFly - or to give her no name at all, requiring a 9-year-old huddled up in an attic to invent one for her.

And so I bring to you, in no particular order, the ten best movies made in the decade of my nascence:

Back to the Future - Marty, Doc and rifts in the spacetime continuum. Love.

Neverending Story - When I was four, I had to leave the theatre because the gigantic talking turtle-hill scared me. So there's that.

The Princess Bride - Made even more delightful by my discovery of the book a few years ago. Read it.

The Flight of Dragons - I may never forgive my brother for taping over this beautiful animated film with an episode of The Simpsons. Damn you, sibling!

Dirty Dancing - This is the movie that made me want to become a professional dancer. Sometimes it's a good thing when dreams die.

Beetlejuice - I think this one might actually be a good movie. Cameo by a shrunken head.

Blade Runner - If there were such a thing as the science fiction film, this would be it. It's just that good.

Flight of the Navigator - I have possibly seen this movie more times than the guy who edited it.

Goonies - Now, as anyone of discerning taste knows, ninjas are far superior to pirates. But. In this movie there are pirates, and that is cool.

Labyrinth - Glitter, gnomes and people randomly breaking into song. Bowie owns me. The end.

And no room for Indy! Damn.