Islamic Children Gassed in Dayton, Ohio

On Friday, American terrorists in Dayton, Ohio sprayed chemical weapons into the child care room of a local mosque, interrupting practitioners praying in recognition of the Islamic holy month.

A firsthand account of the attack may be found here. The woman alluded to in the link immigrated here from Syria, where she and her children had fled after leaving Iraq. They came to America full of hope for a life free from hatred and persecution. Oh, what a welcoming people we are.

Happy Ramadan.

My Kingdom for a New Sex Scandal

I'm beginning to suspect that this puts me in the minority, but truth be told, I could care less if the President's pastor believes that human beings are descended from gigantic talking bananas. Reverend Wright screaming "God damn America" has far less to do with my vote than the candidates' positions on education, health care, the economy and, oh yeah, that war thing. I guess I'm not very good at being a scared white voter, but honestly, if this guy shoves himself into the spotlight one more time, I think my head will explode from the tedium.

And if we're really being honest with ourselves I think we'll all agree that the question is not whether Reverend Wright loves America as much as Barack Obama does (a question which will hopefully live infamy due to its being chiseled onto George Stephanopoulos' headstone by vandals) . Rather it's whether he loves America as much as this dog does:

Practice Violent Acts of Random

This morning on the way to work I had the delightful experience of getting stuck behind a gigantic tree-trimming truck. When I finally found a hole in the traffic to my left and pulled around the guy, I was struck by the message stenciled onto the side of the vehicle: "Jesus won't cut you down."

I understand that perhaps in the 1400's "won't chop you to bits" may indeed have played well as a selling point for proselytizers, but I suspect that most modernites want a little more from their lord and savior these days than a promise to abstain from dismemberment.

Praise the Lord and Pass the Beaker

I taught the Protestant Reformation and the Enlightenment today (which begs for a post some other day about the insanity of the AP World History curriculum), necessitating a brief conversation about the deists — you know, those guys who wore white wigs and talked a lot about "the Watchmaker."

I almost cried in relief when one of the most avowedly Christian students in class raised his hand and said, "So basically, these guys were saying that, like, God could have made evolution or whatever happen? So it doesn't have to be either/or?"

I answered in a vague affirmative (this is public school after all), prompting a contemplative "huh" and a light bulb above his head that was nearly palpable.

Attn: Eleventh Grade Biology Teachers — in lieu of thank you notes, send cash.