Ground Control to Major Tom

I'd like to break my week-long silence to share with you the super-special knowledge that, according to a highly reputable source, non-Earth lifeforms have indeed contacted the planet Earth.

And by "highly reputable" I mean NASA astronaut Edgar Mitchell, record-holder for the longest moonwalk.

Now, granted, astronauts have a tendency to later devote themselves to careers as alcoholics and artists (and hey, same difference, right?). But still. I consider this to be totally reliable.

My mind is officially blown. For serial.

(Okay, posterity demands the following: I am fairly certain humans are not the only cognizant lifeforms in the universe. However, I am equally certain that given known technological mechanisms — or even edgily and fantastically theorized technological mechansims — it's probably just us. Suck, I know. Captain Picard for President, etc. etc.)