It's Not a Conspiracy Theory if It's True

It's good to know that in times of intense global turmoil, with pressing issues such as war, environmental degradation and human rights crying out for public action, I can turn to the U.S. media to keep me informed in a timely and accurate manner. Why, if I hadn't spent an hour at the gym today treadmilling to CNN, how else would I have gotten up-to-the-minute updates on the breaking news story (their words) about New York's latest dumpster baby?

I mean, why would I want to know about the Senate okaying another no-strings Iraq War budget or pending legislation that would shield wiretappers or Greenpeace's latest endeavor to halt a Japanese whaling vessel (all of which happened today) when I can get a point/counterpoint on Baby Christina? (And who knew there were even two possible opinions there? Thanks CNN!)

You know, all I have to say is it sure was nice of Al Gore to invent the Internet so I can get some actual news around here.

Speaking of the Internet, it helped me shed a little bit of light on what kind of person would want his 24-hour news network to spend an entire hour covering the fact that the Hardy Boys pulled a baby out of a paper bag instead of, well, anything else. To wit: CNN is owned by TimeWarner, which is chaired by C.E.O. Richard Parsons, who happens to fill his spare time with activities such as serving on the Citigroup Board of Directors, co-chairing a commission on Social Security for President Bush and, according to insiders, very likely planning a mayoral campaign for New York City's 2009 election. I hope he's gotten together a good anti-babies-in-New-York-dumpsters platform. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that legitimate news events are being kept off of the proverbial front page in favor of a little good old-fashioned fear mongering human interest piece.

But perhaps I'm being too harsh. They did, after all, take a five-minute break from the "news" coverage to announce that CNN anchor Nancy Grace has set up a baby blog to keep her adoring public informed about her pregnancy. It's twins!

OH, I almost forgot! Laughter Shrapnel is officially one month old today. Hooray! Maybe I should set up a separate baby blog blog...